the story of a fool.

battles are not always won.
everyday is an uphill battle for everyone. and it is not easy battling. the preparation. the Armour. the spears and swords.
but why battle? asked an ordinary pleasant to a soldier.
you know you'll lose your life anytime.
whenever there's victory, it isn't all yours. people are rejoicing your victory while you are preparing for your next battle.
whenever there's a defeat, you are the one to be blamed.
why? shouldn't we fill our life with pleasant and happy memories? living the fullest out of life? enjoying every second of it while you can?
you're a fool. literarily. nobody wants to take risks and serve. not anymore. c'mon, be a sober. no one cares what you do.

the soldier replied :
although battles are tough, it makes me a stronger person. an temporary defeat is stronger than an evil triumph.
the difference between both of us is : I'm the one who's willing to take the risk, prepared to lose my life, than to sit at home doing nothing watching the sun and moon, watching the days passing by. idling.
i trained myself to be disciplined.
victory isn't mine. i don't need to be a claimed hero by all.
blamed by others doesn't matter for me, but the worst thing is I start blaming myself.
embracing myself with troubles than enjoying life? thats what it makes for me to stand up among the others.
BE A SOBER YOURSELF, DUDE.

oh ya, what inspire me to do what i do now, they're my family. I love them. they are the force that push me to achieve more. to do what others dreaded. they're the voices in my head that says "C'MON!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

so its quite pathetic for you without any family support.
thats why you're only running away when enemies are near, while i'm having all the faith i have to face them .

Old Diaries. What a Nostalgia.

well i was bored after doing some spring cleaning
though its quite close to summer now.
btw we dont have four seasons in Msia. I call it spring cleaning cos this's the 1st time i clear (almost) all rubbish on my desk. HAVE TO. need to create a conductive environment for me to study.
exam's near, HELLO.

ok, so back to my diary. OLD DIARY. when i was bout 13 to 14 years to.
{  MAAAN. look at my handwriting! look at my grammar!! What's that?? oh my i was so childish!!!  }

the point is, I suddenly realized I've grown so much. I havent written diaries for one year, when i was 15.
maybe this is what make life wonderful. looking back and seeing all the mistakes you've made, learnt from it, bouncing back, getting up.
all the good old stories are now history. and whether it repeats or not, it depends on us. O, what a life!!

i think i should keep track on what i do everyday from now. maybe after years and years later, when i read back all my scribblings i'll realized that what i've gone through is another learning process and I've grown up, a whole lot.

1st post in 2010

i dont really know what to espress here.

"kebebasan bersuara"

ain't here.

i certainly

1.prefer diaries than blog

2.prefer ink than keyboards

3.prefer talking talking talking then typing typing typing

4.prefer not to express what i wanna say in blogs. refer to no.1

5.prefer to sleep than blogging

6.prefer to keep pictures i took in desktop than uploading it

7.prefer not to take any photos at all

8.prefer studying to finish my pesky homework and assignments first

9.prefer tokeep a low profile on what i do

10.prefer doing my own stuff than being commented.

thank you diary. bye bye bloggie. maybe we'll meet again someday.

oh well. maybe.

a round-up of what i did durin' the hols

the ORIGINAL plan :

50% studying
30% camps and stuff
10% shopping and hanging out with UNCLES AUNTIES
5% gym
5% sleeping

the REAL THING :

50% camps and stuff
40% sleeping
5% gym (the ONLY succeeded original plan)
5% shopping and hanging out
0% studying

GOSH GOSH GOSH
what a planner. what a doer. what a holiday. Break.

goodbye 2009.
hello SPM  my last school year.

I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!

for random reasons, for the sake of feelings,  for the love of GOD

I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SCREAM!!!!!

randomness

have u ever imagine the line "a word can affect a person's life"?
well, my life had been affected much by a couple of people

like from my dad "girl u must study hard"
so i  ASSUME i did.
like from my mum "CLEAM UP YOUR ROOM"
so i ASSUME i did too.
like from my brother " Deng!!"
so i start saying that word.
like from my sister "ooiih Jie dont so PI larh!!!"
so i ASSUME i didnt "pi" again.
like from best buddie ever, Judith "listening to too many people's opinion may made u lose a bit of yourself everytime"
so i start thinking like her
like from loh peng and conan "there's the one and only truth!!(in cantonese)"
like from ht chong "zhen shi de!!(vv chinese accent)"
like from junyeng :VERY FUNNY ARH"
like from joanne, oops, shukey lai "Hou guai song arh~"
so i start talking like them
like from vivian "LEE TEUKIE!!"
so i start "GEE GEE BABEE!!"
like from ah pe "ah yo AH GUA"
so i start calling yee suen "AH GUA!!"
like from zhi wei "u know.....blahblahblah and why?? blahblahblah"
so i start using her technique to communicate
like from yuen si "let your emotions flow"
so i did
like from yee sin and UL "i trust you"
so i tust myself too
like from GYLS "dont say the M-I-N-E word"
so i ASSUME i dont after the summit
like from Fee "dont say TRY. try means fail"
so i'll use TRY only when i wanna fail. OPPPSSS, so i DONT use that word THAT often.
like from Anand "you rock!"
so i'm a rock now. HUH?
like from Jen, Aliff, Bryan, Bob, Janna, Meiyan, Sabrina, Shya, Richard, Steph, Melvin : "UNCLE AUNTY!!(actually i was the one started that)"
so i start calling everyone uncle aunty

like from my grandma, "use EVERYTHING wisely. be resourceful but wise."
so i did.
rest in peace. i did, grandma, i WILL, i SHOULD, I DO.

thanks for everything, people.

Live like we're dying??

well to be honest i cant really make out what Mr Kris was trying to sing. but i can make out one thing : GOTTA LVE LIKE WE'RE DYING>>>

86,400 secs a day, wow. he really did made some calculations. if thats so.

TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
yo hear me? tell a friend now.

and i would like to tell these ppl :
- Judith
- Hui Ting
- Xin Ying
- Yee Li
- Jane Yi
- Wai Teng
- Teoh 2
- Oh Vivian
- Ong Birdo
- Poh2
- Boss
- Kar Yee
- Lei and gang
- Hayon
- and all those who crossed my path.

I LOVE YOU. =)) SARANGHE